


A Name of Their Choosing

by doc_ananab



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Analysis, Gen, Identity Issues, Internal Conflict, Minor Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Not Epilogue Compliant, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, albus severus potter deserves a better name, like they're married but it's not really a focal point, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doc_ananab/pseuds/doc_ananab
Summary: A look at the Potter children as they grow up and come to terms with how they want to be known.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	A Name of Their Choosing

**Author's Note:**

> To begin: this fic is NOT complient to Cursed Child or the epilogue. Like, I only got a few pages into Cursed Child and I didn't reread the epilogue when writing this. A lot is different, namely their personalities and appearances. I had headcanons before CC ever came out and I'm sticking with them! I basically redid the kid's entire personalities lol. Anyways, this is my first fic so I'm sorry if the wording is awkward or for grammer mistakes! I've been thinking about writing this for a while, so I finally did! Hope you enjoy! :)

The day Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley were married Great Britain forgot how to function. When they announced their pregnancy, the public had a heart attack. On the night that James Sirius Potter was born, it was as if a  _ bomb _ had gone off. The young family had never intended to become this famous, but there was only so much you could do when you were the Chosen One, and as such, they were constantly being watched. In the years to come the public attention would die down; Harry and Ginny would both get new jobs that allowed them to have more free time resulting in the public seeing them more often. They become less of untouchable war heroes and more of a common friendly neighbor, just another average person.

But at this moment, Harry and Ginny Potter are 24 and they are war heroes and a famous Quidditch player and a decorated auror and they have just given birth to their first child. All eyes are on their growing family. The couple has two more children and by the third, the overall public begins to have less interest in their everyday lives. But it is still noticeable. Mother and father do their best to keep their children as far away from the articles and tabloid reporters, but there’s only so much they can do, and James is the eldest. 

For as long as he’s been alive there were columns written, true or false, about him. The firstborn of two incredible, amazing, powerful people. He teaches himself to read at two years old because he’s curious of the papers that his parents quickly shove aside. 

James is a lot of things and stubbornness will follow him throughout his life. If he wants something then nothing can get in his way; he wants to fly so he learns to ride a broomstick, he wants to become Head Boy so he becomes top of his class, he wants to understand the newspaper so he teaches himself to read. The articles offer wild claims and assumptions about him. By the time he can walk the paper’s refer to him as a national heartbreaker and when he’s five they write how he’s already been picked up by Puddlemere United. They’re all nonsense and even as a child James knows this. (They still upset him, even if he won’t admit it to anyone. It still feels wrong to have lies spread about him, it feels even worse when he believes them.)

For years the stories piled up and it was only a matter of time before the straw broke the camel’s back. Harry and Ginny had become increasingly frustrated by the articles throughout the years, but it took one final piece to make them finally put a stop to it. When James is six,  _ Witch Weekly _ puts out a story claiming that James is not actually Harry’s son. The entire story paints a picture detailing how the two younger Potter children have messy black hair, how the younger boy even has green eyes. Meanwhile, James features curly auburn hair and has his mother’s soft brown eyes. Even as a child, James looked more like a Weasley than a Potter. He didn’t have knobby knees like his father and sister or almond-shaped eyes. It was the first and last time that the extended family had ever seen Harry explode the way he did. He immediately put an end to the claims, and after that, the public calmed down and the family received peace for the first time since Voldemort was defeated. (Ginny threw out the paper as soon as she and Harry read it, but James had been filching them since he was two. He smiled and he laughed and he went on with his life. If he asked Teddy how to change his appearance then that’s between him and Teddy. If he cried that night when Teddy said he couldn’t help then nobody needs to know.)

The articles might have diminished, but that didn’t mean that people stopped talking. Nobody claimed that James was illegitimate, but they still discussed his appearance.  _ James Sirius _ , they claimed, should look like James and Sirius. There was no more suspicion in the air about his parentage; instead, there was  _ disappointment. _ Perhaps it was because people wanted to recreate the past, to bring back the dead. Whatever it was, James was sick and tired of it, even at nine. He was tired of meeting new people only to have them eye him over and have the corners of their lips twitch down, their eyebrows wrinkle, their eyes lose a spark. The reaction only ever lasted a split second before correcting itself, but James always noticed. 

Everything about James is wrong: wrong hair color, wrong hair consistency, wrong eye color, wrong eye shape, wrong bone structure. Hell, people even gave his eyeglasses a side glance. (Wrong model, wrong color, wrong shape.) He didn’t match either of his namesakes and in the eyes of the public, it was a punishable offense. (He spends a lot of time staring into the bathroom mirror, poking and pinching his face. It’s hard not to take the overheard whispers to heart. It’s hard being young and being told you are  _ wrong. _ )

Contrary to popular belief, James was nervous to finally attend Hogwarts. For the first time in his life, he wouldn’t have his siblings by his side. (Who would clean Lily’s knees when she falls in the garden? Who would sew the eyes back onto Albus’ teddy bear? Their parents were always so  _ busy _ .) The entire Potter family has come to see him off at the Hogwarts Express, and he puts on a bright smile for his brother and sister. He promises to write every week. He hugs his family (he hugs his siblings tighter and longer) and then he boards the train. He eventually finds a compartment filled with mostly second years. It isn’t until he introduces himself that they realize he’s a Potter. (It’s both a blessing and a curse. Maybe there won’t be drama surrounding him if nobody can guess who he is. His hand instinctively runs through his hair.  _ Red hair. _ How ironic that the one trait he inherits from his grandfather is a nervous habit resulting from insecurity.) 

The second years proceed to bombard him with questions about this and that. James quickly discovers that it doesn’t matter what he responds with because they’ll just agree with him anyway. (The boy to his right asks for his favorite Quidditch team. James says the Holyhead Harpies. The boy exclaims that they’re his favorite too. The boy’s trunk is littered with Falmouth Falcons stickers. James doesn’t say anything.)

He sits under the sorting hat and does his best not to shake. When Professor Sinistra, the Deputy Headmistress, called out his name the Hall erupted in excitement, and even now under the hat he can hear their whispers. Everybody leans forward in their seats, and when the hat yells Gryffindor, the house of red and gold erupts into screams and cheers. It takes Headmistress McGonagall a full five minutes to calm everybody down enough to continue with the sorting. (Nobody notices in the craze that James wears a nervous grimace and walks to the Gryffindor table on unsteady legs.) 

He’s very proud to be a Gryffindor. Why wouldn’t he? It’s just, this environment is so new. His cousins were all in different houses. He was alone. His parents will be happy; they’ll probably brag to his aunts and uncles and all of their friends. (He’s able to bring himself to a small smile by thinking how Albus will be excited. He’ll want to hear about the common room and the view from the tower. James resolves to write a letter as soon as he reaches the dorms.) He grins at his new housemates and strikes up a conversation with the girl sitting next to him. She laughs at a joke he makes and he thinks maybe things will be okay. That night, he lays awake in bed after writing his letter and wonders. It’s a new start, maybe he can finally start to please people. He can’t look like his namesakes, but maybe he can  _ act  _ like them.

This idea quickly turns on its head. September 2nd marks the first day of classes, and James is heading to the Great Hall when he sees another first-year walking by. James Potter and Sirius Black were pranksters and they were known especially for their physical pranks. They would hex this boy. James forces a smile onto his face and casts a tripping jinx at the boy. Bad idea, considering that they were near the staircases. The jinx hits and the boy tumbles down the stairs, there’s a quiet  _ snap _ when his wrist breaks. James wasn’t made for this and his plans to reinvent himself are immediately thrown out. Tears running down his face, he rushes to the boy and apologizes over and over insisting that he help him to the Hospital Wing. 

The Slytherin first year was initially angry with James, but now, seeing a red-faced boy with tears streaming down his face stumble over his apologies, he’s mostly just embarrassed. He agrees to let James accompany him to the Hospital Wing if only to make him stop crying.

When questioned as to how he broke his wrist, Julian Kravitz will say that he tripped on the staircase (technically not a lie) and make no mention of James’ jinx even if James looks like he wants to confess.

(They’ll laugh about it later. “Oh well,” they’ll say, “it’s one way to meet your best friend.”)

James and Julian sit next to each other in potions after leaving the Hospital Wing and quickly become attached at the hip. And oh, how shocking it is to see a Potter spending time with a Slytherin. House tensions have decreased since the war, but they still exist. James quickly reminds his peers that two of his cousins are Slytherins so they should watch what they say. James Potter and Sirius Black would never befriend a Slytherin, but James is done trying to please the public. (He’s done trying to please his dead relatives.)

When James suggests to Julian that they start a study group, Julian quickly agrees. He brings his Ravenclaw friend Agatha Deacon from Herbology to the session who in turn invites her Hufflepuff friend Kiran (“Call me Kiki!”) Singh from Defense. The four hit it off and James doesn’t feel so alone. They don’t have expectations and their expressions don’t falter around him. The only thing they demand from him is help in potions, which is a subject that none of his friends understand. Some of the other students stare at him as he walks by and cock their heads when he showcases his diligent notes during study sessions in the library and tells his friends to focus on their homework, but it’s easier to ignore now.

When he leaves for winter break, he’s sad to leave his friends. He’s excited to see his siblings again after three months, but once he steps off the train and sees his parents waiting for him he wants to just turn around and go back to Hogwarts. (He’s shocked that they were actually able to pick him up. He figured that they’d be too busy for something like this.) His little brother and sister rush up to him the moment he walks through the door and they spend the night on the living room floor as he tells them all about his classes and Gryffindor and his professors and Julian and Kiki and Agatha. His father prepares his favorite meal for dinner and they eat together and it’s one of the best nights of his life. (The next morning when he walks down to the kitchen, his father is already gone on a case and his mother is heading out the door to prepare for an afternoon Quidditch match. “Ah,” he thinks, “back to normal.” He pulls out eggs and vegetables to make himself and his siblings some omelets.)

There was never a moment that he can recall where he actually loved his name. It was probably because of the bizarre relationship he had with his namesakes and the fact that he believed the names never belonged to him. (He has a hard time separating the names and the people.) In James’ mind, there could only be one James Potter, one Sirius, and it certainly wasn’t him. Instead, he was merely an imposter skating by life with their names. Not to mention, it frustrated him endlessly how people referred to him as ‘James Sirius’, rather than just ‘James.’ (They all believed that there could only be one James Potter too, and he died decades ago.) He got a bitter taste on his tongue every time he thought too hard about James and Sirius, which happened more than he would like.

It wasn’t that he disliked them, it was that he  _ hated _ them.

James will always be a stubborn boy and he will also always be a bitter one. He blames others, typically adults, for the stress and hardships that he experiences. (He blames the reporters from when he was a child for ruining his self-esteem, he blames his parents for never being home, he blames James and Sirius for his identity crisis. He blames them for being dead and putting a weight of expectations onto his shoulders from the moment he was born.) The hatred he feels for his grandfather and pseudo great uncle goes beyond anything else he may feel. He knows that it’s wrong to speak ill of the dead, and he knows that they were heroes and they couldn’t predict how their legacy would affect him, but he can never bring himself to love them. In James’ mind, they couldn’t have predicted it, but it’s still their fault. He’s glad that they’re dead. (He never speaks of these feelings out loud. He’s only ever done that once, when he was sixteen. He ranted about them to Lily, about how he despised them so much. He made her promise never to tell another soul. She promised. Throughout his entire speech she didn’t look the slightest bit surprised.)

It’s April of his first year, and his study group is hanging out in the courtyard. They’re playing exploding snap and taking a break from studying. It’s nice. James feels good and safe in this environment. It’s on this day that Julian calls him Jem for the first time. He turns to face Julian, confused. Julian’s embarrassed and scratches the back of his neck. “It’s just a nickname, if you don’t like it then I can just call you James.” He shakes his head vigorously and very quickly informs them that they are more than welcome to call him Jem. He goes back to his card game while fighting down a bright smile. (His friends notice anyway.)

It’s nice and he’s comfortable around these people. He plays his game with Kiki whose twin pigtails are singed at the tips. Julian sits to his left, and for the past 30 minutes has been blowing his long black hair out of his eyes. Agatha eventually had enough of that and is currently showcasing her headband collection to him as they discuss which would best suit him. To him, he’s their friend. He’s not  _ James Sirius Potter. _

He’s Jem and Jem is a lot of things. Jem is incredibly talented at potions and always has the best notes. Jem takes school seriously and his grades are important to him. He’s not big on pranks and he likes to go to bed by 10. He’s secretly into poetry and he’s afraid of being alone. He cleans his sister’s knees and patches up his brother’s stuffed animals. He has auburn hair and soft brown eyes. James Sirius wasn’t allowed to be these things, but Jem is.

He introduces himself as Jem and insists on only being referred to as such. It takes his parents a week to adjust. (He doesn’t answer to James anymore. He’s unnervingly stubborn.) His father is the toughest to convince. (There’s nothing wrong with a nickname, but Jem hates James and Sirius and it’s not hard to deduce this. They were Harry’s father and godfather, so it’s more than a little upsetting to hear your son strip himself of their names. The relationship between Harry and Jem has always been a bit strained.) His brother is initially shocked but has no issue with his request. Little brother and sister have always known about Jem’s problems with their ancestors and their parents and the media. 

For the first time, Jem feels  _ right _ .

* * *

Albus Severus Potter was the Golden Child, and he is more than aware of it. Whereas his brother’s appearance was discussed in hushed whispers and discrete glances, Albus’ was loudly praised. He was the spitting image of his father (he actually wasn’t but more on that later) and people loved to remind him of it. Albus was proud of this. Albus is a proud boy. He’s proud of a lot of things. He’s proud of his ability to listen and retain information, of how he quickly befriends those around him, of his family.

The general public adored Albus. Always smiling, always skipping, always laughing. And the thing about Albus is that none of it was a mask, he was just genuinely happy. Jem always had to fake it in public, but never Albus. His parents doted on him, and his siblings were always around to play with. As children, he and Jem worked on puzzles together, and he and Lily would make forts in the living room under which they would tell stories. When his parents were home Albus would help his dad prepare dinner. (As a young child he really wasn’t helping much, but it’s the thought that counts.) Jem would scowl and mutter under his breath when their parents were busy and not home, but Albus did not harbor the same distaste as his brother. Mom and dad work hard and Albus does not blame them for it. Besides, when their parents are gone they still have each other, so no big deal! (Jem and Albus will always have differing opinions on their parents. It’s okay though, they still love each other and they don’t let their opinions get in the way of that.)

Harry is seen in public most with Albus, and people speak to the ends of the earth how they are identical. Albus believes it himself until his cousin Rose shatters that perception for him. He and Rose Granger-Weasley were practically raised as siblings; they were constantly sleeping over at each other’s houses and saw each other nearly every day. She’s incredibly perceptive, even at seven, and she holds no reservations about informing Albus of her learnings. (There’s no malicious intent behind this, she merely believes that Albus should know the truth. And she doesn’t want his ego getting too big either.) Sure, Albus has all of the  _ coloring _ of his father and perhaps the more noticeable traits: messy black hair, almond-shaped green eyes, dark skin, tall. However, all of the other traits come directly from his mother. He’s not as boney as his father or grandfather, his body looks more like a Prewitt, like his Uncle George. The longer nose is distinctly Weasley as are the small smattering of freckles across his cheekbones and shoulders. All things that a person would generally overlook, but jump out when noticed.

Still! This information doesn’t upset him and if anything it just makes him happier. He looks like mom, and mom is a hero just as much as dad. (This is a big thing to Albus, being a hero.) People will still sing about how much of a  _ Potter _ he is and Albus will still smile and giggle at them. (It’s at the same parties that strangers give Jem disapproving glances that they worship Albus.)

The extended Potter-Weasley family is full of stories, from the war to school to before any of that, and it’s a favorite past-time of Albus to listen to them. Granddad Arthur tells the best stories, always making them overly dramatic and putting on voices and acting out scenes. He and Rose sit at their granddad’s feet while he puts on his show, and Albus is thrilled each time even after Rose starts getting bored. Albus goes with his granddad to the shed to look at his current experiments and listen while he describes them in detail.

His grandparent’s house is probably his favorite place in the whole world. There are always new rooms to find and secrets to discover and he and Rose are adventurers running through the backyard and racing each other to the pond. (They get soaking wet and their grandma lectures them while performing a drying spell, but they smile through it and know that they’re going back after dinner.)

When Albus is nine, his older brother leaves for Hogwarts and suddenly the house feels incredibly empty. His parents work, he has always known this, but it’s only now that he’s really  _ noticing _ it. Lily trips and breaks the skin on her knee and Albus tries to clean it but Lily still says that he’s doing it wrong. While his brother is away at school, Albus must become the eldest, but he isn’t very good at it. (Rose and Hugo still come by nearly every day though, so it’s okay. Rose always knows what to do and Lily doesn’t care as much about cuts when she has Hugo to boss around.)

According to Rose, Albus is like a baby who constantly needs to be taken care of. She insists that he needs someone to brag to or harass. For the most part, he is a pretty quiet child. He prefers to listen rather than speak and so he typically leaves speaking for Rose to handle. He expresses himself through smiles or smirks or looks of disbelief. (And  _ sure _ , maybe he likes to brag a bit, sometimes, but this is a bit of new development and Rose shouldn’t be calling him out so quickly.) Besides, that’s according to  _ Rose.  _ If asked, Albus will insist that he’s far more like Teddy: cool, mischievous, bold. (Teddy wasn’t any of these things.)

Of course, Rose rolls her eyes and takes out her chess set. She’s used to Albus’ theatrics by this point and she knows when to take him seriously. As she predicts, he spends the majority of the game boasting of his own amazing talents and cool-guy persona. In Albus’ mind, there’s nobody better in the world than himself. (There are definitely  _ equals,  _ he’s not such a huge narcissist, but nobody is  _ better _ than him.)

His brother returns home after his first year insisting on the name Jem. He renounces his birth name, and Albus and his sister seem to be the only Potter’s unsurprised by this. Albus is initially a little shocked, but this was bound to happen eventually. Jem has always had a turbulent relationship with his name, something that Albus couldn’t relate to. None-the-less, he doesn’t fuss over it. He loves his brother and it’s nice to see him happy for once in his life.

When it’s time for his first year at Hogwarts, he is a bundle of nerves. However, unlike his brother, Albus is excited more than anything else. Upon entering the train, Jem immediately turns towards him and Rose to offer them a spot in his compartment, but they turn him down. (“It’s an adventure Jem! Who knows who’ll we meet! It could just be the start of something great.”) And so the two tumble down each train car searching for seats that could only be filled by them.

It’s Rose who catches the sight of pale blonde hair attached to a boy sitting alone. (No matter what her mother claims, Rose actually does listen to her parents. She heard them talk of the Malfoy boy she was to beat in class. She listens, but she doesn’t typically follow their instructions. She likes adventure and she’s going to carve it out for herself.) She takes her cousin by the wrist and pulls him into the compartment without asking the singular boy inside if the seats were free.

Thus commences a few seconds of awkward silence where nobody says a word as they sit across from each other. (It’s clear this boy wasn’t expecting company. It’s also clear that he knows exactly who they are if the nervous glances and red cheeks are anything to go by.) Rose is, of course, the one to break the silence. Things like embarrassment and second-guessing don’t suit her. Albus is quick to follow her lead and introduces himself to the Malfoy boy. (He’ll claim later that it was his charming, humorous, and overall amazing personality that convinced Scorpius to relax and break his shell. Scorpius will laugh and push at his shoulders, but he won’t deny it. Rose can try as hard as she wants but Albus’ ego is unmanageable, especially as Scorpius unknowingly strokes it.)

Scorpius gets sorted into Slytherin, no surprise though he certainly looks frightened. (The cousins are starting to suspect that that may be his default expression. They’ll work on it later.) It is a far bigger shock when Albus is also sorted into Slytherin.

There’s a hush over the Great Hall and Albus feels beads of sweat on the back of his neck. He’s not disappointed (he’s a little disappointed) because, after all, this is the house of his namesake. Sure, it would have been nice to be in Gryffindor with Jem, to be in the house of his parents and uncles and grandparents and Albus Dumbledore (and nearly every other hero from his family’s stories), but there’s nothing wrong with Slytherin; however, there  _ is  _ something wrong with the permeating silence of this room.

Fortunately for him, his lovely cousins are not afraid of causing a scene, so Dominique and Molly stand up at the Slytherin table and begin to loudly cheer and wave their fists in the air. This immediately starts a ripple and the rest of Slytherin house clap for him. Albus can finally breathe again, and when he looks over at Jem he sees his big brother give a thumbs up. He takes a seat next to Scorpius (he gets many shocked expressions for this and someone nearby even chokes on their water) and he throws an arm around the other boy and whispers, “I’m glad we’re together.” He gets a shy smile and red face in return, but at least Scorpius is finally looking him in the eyes. (Scorpius is relieved too. He was never very good with making friends. Always too shy and nervous and a bit sheltered. And in walks this boy who’s larger than life, who doesn’t even need to speak to be the center of attention, who could pick anyone, and he chose Scorpius. It’s hard not to feel a warm sense of pride from that. He knows who Harry Potter is and he knows who his own father is, and he’s so incredibly grateful that this boy will give him a chance, something that he doesn’t typically get. It almost makes him want to cry.) 

Rose gets sorted into Gryffindor, no surprise there. She sends a wink over their way and they respond with thumbs up and smiles of varying degrees of confidence. (Again, someone chokes on their drink.) 

Dominique and Molly walk over to them once the feast begins, rubbing Albus’ hair and congratulating him on joining the house of green and silver. In the eyes of a first-year, his cousins are everything he could ever hope to be: self-assured, sly, when they speak everyone around them listens. Their presence also does a good job of reminding the students that he is not the first of his family to become a Slytherin. The curse scars across Molly’s eyes give her an intimidating appearance, but her wink is full of reassurance. The two sixth-years stride away with smirks on their faces and low laughter. Albus had never spent that much time with them as children, but now he thinks that they’re probably the coolest people in his family. (Jem also comes by later on in the feast. He assures Albus that he can always come to him if he needs anything, he’s told him where the Gryffindor common room is located, and also to remind him that Julian is in Slytherin so Albus can go to him as well.)

Albus, Scorpius, and Rose quickly become an infamous trio within Hogwarts. They don’t get into too much trouble, they’re mostly infamous just because of who they are. (Who would have thought that Harry Potter’s son, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley’s daughter, and Draco Malfoy’s son would become best friends.) They constantly get strange looks when they’re together, even from the professors, or perhaps especially from the professors. The students don’t care  _ that _ much, they’ve already dealt with Jem and his friends and they don’t know what their parent’s relationship was like during school.

However, the professors  _ do _ remember, and Albus and Scorpius are mirror images of their fathers. It’s strange and almost frightening to see what looks like Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy giggling while they eat breakfast together and having their heads pressed together while they work in class.

Rose huffs at this because Albus  _ doesn’t  _ look like Harry, at least not to the point of appearing like a twin. And Albus knows this too, but he also knows that Scorpius  _ also _ doesn’t look like his father, he just has his coloring. He’s seen pictures of Draco Malfoy, he knows what he looks like, and he doesn’t look like his best friend. Sure, Scorpius has pale white skin, pale blonde hair, and pale grey eyes just like Draco, but that’s it. Malfoy’s are known for their sharp features: cheekbones, nose, and jawline. Scorpius’ features are soft though, there are nearly no sharp points to him. He tells Albus that he gets it from his mother’s side of the family. (And it’s true. Albus hasn’t met Astoria Greengrass yet, but when he does he’ll see Scorpius’ face. A soft button nose, monolids, and dimples. He’s pale, but he also has her rosy cheeks when he smiles.) He looks like his mother, just with his father’s coloring. Albus thinks it’s funny that, apparently, nobody can see this.

His first year goes by without a hitch, he and his friends only get a handful of detentions for sneaking out after hours. (His dad gave him the Marauder's Map, so he might as well use it.) His parents yell for a few days about his best friend, but, as much as Albus adores his parents, he won’t budge in regards to Scorpius.

(Rose’s parents give her an even harsher time about it. Between Scorpius and neglecting her grades, Hermione and Ron ground her for the summer. It doesn’t last; Rose will do as she pleases and she doesn’t bother with rules, especially those her parents create. She is possibly the only person in the world who isn’t scared of Hermione Granger.)

It’s in second year that everything in Albus’ life goes downhill.

He never goes by Al, only Albus. The original Albus was a man who was larger than life itself and played instrumental roles in defeating two of the greatest Dark Lords of all time. He was powerful, yet kind and compassionate. A mentor to those around him and perhaps the most intelligent headmaster to date. When his dad shared his memories of the man during dinner, Albus was hooked, and it was the same with Severus Snape. There was this man who kept a secret for years and never slipped, who gave up his life for Albus’ father. An intelligent man himself, he revolutionized potions. A Slytherin, just like Albus, it was due in part to his sorting that Albus was able to so quickly feel at home in the serpent house. Sure his cousins being there helped, but Albus always craved more from life, to change something for the better, to be a hero even if only to one person, and he grew up believing that his namesakes were just that. They were men to look up to, to aspire to be like, and by sharing their name maybe Albus could instinctively gather some of that greatness himself. He was raised thinking, “I want to be like  _ them  _ when I’m older.”

(He’s similar to Jem in that sense. They both had a hard time differentiating between the names and the people. However, Jem hated this, and Albus loved it. He intimately linked his names to their original owners; he liked how people envisioned them when meeting him.)

It’s his second year at Hogwarts and he’s in the library by himself. (Rose is at Quidditch practice and Scorpius likes to sleep in late on the weekends.) Meandering through the aisles, a shiny yet battered novel catches his eye, and even more than that, it has ‘Albus Dumbledore’ written in script across the spine. Upon picking it, he quickly rolls his eyes at seeing that Rita Skeeter, a woman constantly writing tabloids about his family (about his parents, about  _ Jem _ ), is the author, but he opens it anyway. Leaning against the shelf, he skims through the pages, barely reading, until he actually starts to process the words inked into the pages.

His page-turning becomes more and more frantic as he takes in the information, as he takes in the idea that  _ Albus Dumbledore _ , a national hero, could possibly have wanted to rule over Muggles or have been friends with Grindelwald or killed his own sister or  _ or _ OR.

He doesn’t remember running to the Owlery but he’s there penning a letter to his dad begging him to say it’s all false,  _ please _ . It’s just past 10 AM and Rose is still in practice and he doesn’t know where Jem is, so he sprints to his dorm. The only person still there is Scorpius, asleep in his bed, and Albus jumps on him, shaking his shoulders in a frenzy. (He’s pale and his eyes are wide and crazed. There’s sweat on the back of his neck and on his forehead, probably from both his intense run and his nerves; his hair is even messier than usual. It’s quite a sight to wake up to.)

It takes nearly the remainder of the morning to calm Albus down enough to where he comprehends the thoughts running through his mind. He understands that he’s probably overreacting a bit, but he just can’t help it. All his life he’s heard about how Albus Dumbledore was the greatest man who ever lived and he knows that Rita Skeeter is a notorious liar and everything in that book is probably false but what if some of it is true and if some of it is true then what else is a lie and what about  _ Severus. _ (He starts to panic once more, his breath hitching. Scorpius pulls him into his side, strokes his hair, tells him “Everything’s okay. I’m here for you. Breathe with me.”) Some more time passes and they both know that the nerves won’t disappear until Albus knows the truth. So they go to his uncle, Professor Longbottom.

They run into Rose on the way there. She’s sweaty and still in her practice gear, but she takes one look at her cousin, friend,  _ brother _ , and immediately puts an arm around his shoulder and walks with them. (She’s used to Albus’ theatrics and she knows when to take him seriously. Now is one of those times.)

Professor Longbottom gives them a sad smile and tired eyes when they make their request. He tries to be gentle, but Rose cuts him off.

They just want the truth.

So, Neville tells them. He wasn’t close to Dumbledore so he doesn’t know much on that front, but yes, he was close with Grindelwald and yes, it was during a duel between the two that Ariana got caught in the crossfires. Still, he reminds them of the feats of good he did and how they weigh against each other. When Albus asks after Severus, Neville is less hesitant. (Even now, Neville occasionally has nightmares about potions class.) He loves Albus and he doesn’t want to hurt him, but he informs the trio about Severus Snape; how he wasn’t a kind, warm man. He was more than often cruel to Neville and his peers and how he was prejudiced against Gryffindors. (He thinks of the insults thrown toward himself and his friends. He remembers how Snape threatened Trevor’s life or how he bullied Hermione into charming her teeth smaller. He doesn’t share these anecdotes with the kids.) He reminds the second years that people are multi-faceted and that doesn’t mean they weren’t heroes, but he can already tell that he lost them quite some time ago.

A few days go by and Albus finally gets a response from his dad. He confirms some things and denies others. He even gets a letter from his Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. They have a similar response although his Aunt and Uncle add some of their own opinions to the mix. (His Aunt makes a minor comment of how Dumbledore rewarded them for their reckless behavior and looking back that was kind of suspicious. His Uncle makes a less minor comment on how he hated Snape for over seven years.)

Suddenly, Albus isn’t feeling so proud.

(He really has to remember to tell his companions that he loves them. Scorpius and Rose have put up with his self deprecating moaning for the past few days and they haven’t complained even once.)

It’s Jem who suggests that he pick a new name. After all, he did it, so why can’t Albus?

The main problem with this is that Albus is  _ picky.  _ He can’t just take a nickname like Jem, if he is going to renounce both of his names then he will go all out. (He has a cool guy persona to maintain. He is over the top about everything whether he is self-aware or not.) Eventually, he comes up with the following criteria: both of his new names must be heroes and at least one of them has to be a Slytherin. Both of these things were and still are important to him.

Scorpius and Rose head to the library one morning and Albus tells them he’ll meet them there. First, he needs to talk to his cousin.

He pushes his cousins aside and sits unannounced between Lucy and Louis Weasley at the Ravenclaw table one morning, nearly spilling juice over their O.W.L. study books. Lucy picked her own name, and Albus wants to know how she decided on it.

“You’re overthinking it.” She places a hand on his shoulder as Louis moves the books aside and fixes Albus a plate of food. “I was young and I really liked the Chronicles of Narnia. I liked Lucy. It was simple. You don’t need to have an overly grand reason, just pick something that fits you, something you love.”

It takes less time than any of them expected to find a suitable name. The kids don’t like to think about it, but that doesn’t make it any less true. There aren’t many ‘heroic’ Slytherins in recent history. Still, Rose and Albus grew up listening to their family’s stories. They are not ignorant of who Regulus Black is. There is a significant difference between Regulus and Severus, and Albus feels more comfortable with the former than the latter.

Scorpius decides that he can’t also have a star name, so they call him Reggie until he chooses his other name, and then the rest of the school follows suit. (More than a few people find his actions strange, but they’ve seen weirder so they don’t comment.)

(He never went by a nickname before, but things are changing, and he’ll admit that just Reggie feels better than Regulus.)

Reggie, Scorpius, and Rose have many candidates for names, and the abundance causes them all to become more and more frazzled. They spend far longer sorting through these names than they did with Regulus Black, and, in the end, Reggie goes with what fits.

His granddad was a hero, and he’s always loved him. He’s always inspired him.

(He initially decides on Arthur Regulus, but he has gotten used to others referring to him as Reggie for the past two months, so he flips it.)

He’s not his brother, Reggie has always gotten along with his parents. He doesn’t want them to be upset with renouncing his name like they were with Jem. He’s been writing letters to Lily asking for her opinions, so both of his siblings already know.

At home, Reggie helps his dad cook dinner with more vigor than usual and fills any silence with nonsensical conversation. Finally, after they’ve eaten, he explains his decision to them. (His voice is soft and he doesn’t look his parents in the eyes. It’s strange to see a boy who is typically so confident falter.)

His mother just hugs him and they both accept his request. After all, they suspected something would happen when he wrote that letter all those months ago. There is a slight disappointment in their eyes, but they had months to accept this, and they approve of the names he’s chosen. (It’s also different because Jem and Reggie are different kids. Jem’s relationship with Harry and Ginny has always been turbulent. He will immediately resort to yelling with them or pure silence. Reggie was the opposite. He’s always been close with them and it’s heartbreaking to see their charming, fearless son be so scared of  _ them. _ )

He is Reggie Arthur Potter, and while his name is derived from Regulus, he is just Reggie, and Reggie is a lot of things. He is great at puzzles and less great at chess. He builds the best pillow forts with his sister, and he is the real-life cousin and pseudo twin of Rose. He loves history and he’s begging his parents to let him get his ears pierced. He loves uncovering secrets whether they be about Hogwarts, the Burrow, or people.

More than anything else, Reggie loves stories, and it’s time he wrote his own rather than try to be someone else’s.

* * *

What an odd girl Lily Luna Potter is.

As the youngest child of Harry and Ginny, she gets the least amount of attention, not to mention that by the time she is a toddler, the Potter’s have a grip on the tabloid situation. She is often overlooked in favor of her two brothers. (One rusty and one golden.)

Of course, as the youngest and as the only girl, she is acknowledged in the inner workings of her family. Jem makes it his personal responsibility to look after her and keep her safe; Reggie also tries to take care of her, but he’s almost as young as she is and doesn’t understand how to do that. Harry treats her like a princess, as his precious little girl. Ginny, on the other hand, clearly doesn’t want Lily to feel forcibly feminized like she was as a child, so Ginny encourages her daughter to play Quidditch at a young age and to rough house with the other kids.

Lily’s relationship with her parents is unlike either of her brothers. Jem will always blame them, and Reggie will always forgive them. Lily believes herself to be the only sibling with the nuance to understand what went wrong. It’s her opinion that Harry and Ginny should never have had children as young as they did.

They defeated Voldemort, got married, and had their first child within seven years. They then followed that by having two more children before they were thirty. If one were to ask Lily, she would declare that this was a mistake on their part.

Don’t get her wrong, she loves her parents and she knows that they love her, but the entire family would be better equipped at showing and expressing that love if the kids had been born at a later date. She’ll never harbor the distrust that Jem holds or the unconditional forgiveness that Reggie maintains; instead, she allows herself to enjoy and appreciate and look forward to the times that they are together while acknowledging that Jem knows her favorite color and her father doesn’t. (It’s pink.)

She watches the world from the outside and engages when it suits her, but unlike Reggie, who files information and blackmail and the smallest of ticks about people into compartments, she only notices when it’s someone she cares about. Reggie will notice the sideways glances that people give Jem at parties, and he will file that away to use against them later, but Lily is the one to see Jem’s clenched fists and the grinding of his teeth. (She’s also the one to see the dried tear tracks on his cheeks later.)

Little Lily Luna is so forgettable, except for when she isn’t. She’s a quiet child, more so than Reggie, because he is silent because he knows that he can get more from people by smiling or smirking or giggling or chuckling. On the other hand, Lily is quiet in the way that lets her be unnoticed. She walks along her own track, straight-faced Lily, and will let other people carry a conversation while she barely listens in. Her head is in the clouds and she has no intention of flying down.

She has a close relationship with both of her brothers; Jem acts like a parent and ensures that she isn’t too badly hurt from her escapades or too upset when things don’t go her way. He knows her favorite foods and songs, and, as they get older, they talk of their insecurities. Most of the time it’s Jem telling her of his, but Lily speaks every so often. (It’s hard to remember that she is capable of experiencing things like disappointment or moments of inadequacy. She is so straight-faced and blunt, it’s often hard to remember that she is human too. Sometimes, it’s even hard for her to remember.)

With Reggie, things are different. If prompted, Lily would claim that she and Jem are closer than she is with her younger elder brother. They are the pessimists of their family, so they band together in the attempt to dispel it from the other. But as children, Lily and Reggie are attached at the hip. They are the youngest so while Jem plays at being a parent, they’re able to be kids. Her brother’s mind is an expanse filled with ideas and sorcery. Without using the magic he was born with, and instead using the magic of his words, he turns their pillow forts into castles and their garden into a dragon infested forest. Lily is a happy child because her brother is a happy child. He creates scenarios and situations, and they’re filled with adventure and crafty spells that don’t actually exist and millions of other fantastical things.

Lily is too young at the moment to realize that some of his stories are clearly made up and impossible to achieve.

Jem leaves for Hogwarts and Lily is seven. Hugo and Rose come by more often and while she and Reggie will always be close, she starts to branch off with Hugo and him with Rose. Largely, things are similar with Hugo, but this time around she isn’t the younger sister. They are the same age, and so Hugo can’t pull the “I’m older than you so what I say goes” rule that Reggie adores. When they are together, Lily picks the games and she commandeers Hugo into her ploys. They are never extreme, they aren’t their siblings with their thirst for adventure and a desire to see things completed regardless of what the world tells them. Instead, Lily will inform Hugo of her current fixation, whether that be catching a dragonfly or brewing Felix Felicis, and the two will set off to do only that. (More often than not they get bored before finishing, so they drop the subject and move on to brighter pastures.)

Lily is nine and Reggie and Rose leave for Hogwarts. By this point in time, their parents have realized that maybe they shouldn’t let their children be alone too often, so there’s usually at least one adult with them. Lily’s head is still in the clouds, and she doesn’t let this sudden adult supervision deter her from her fragile plans, except for when she does. Sure, she wants to learn how to draw a perfect circle for ruins, but she is more than happy to just lay in her grandmother’s garden and stare up at the sun.

Lily Luna is more than a little listless.

She more than has the potential to discover and uncover brand new solutions and ideas, what with the random array of knowledge she’s amassed from her frequent fixations, but she has no ambition. She is so intelligent in so many subjects, but she gets bored easily and will ditch the subject before she can make that extra leap into greatness. Life was exciting in Reggie’s stories, but she is beginning to realize that real life is a lot more monotonous.

She and Hugo head to Hogwarts, and for the first time, the three Potter siblings board the train together. Jem turns to her and offers the same suggestion to her as he did Reggie: she and Hugo can sit with him and his friends if they like. (His group of four has turned into a group of nine.) The duo decline, or rather Hugo declines. Lily doesn’t quite care either way. Jem ruffles her hair and lets them know where his compartment is, but that in a few hours he’ll have to go to the prefect compartment. Reggie grabs Lily by the hand and drags her to a compartment further down while their cousins follow. He introduces her to Scorpius Malfoy. (He talks about his best friend endlessly to Lily, but it’s still a taboo subject at home. Their parents aren’t big Malfoy fans, and while they never say it out loud, they don’t like it when Reggie talks of Scorpius.

Lily thinks this is unfair of her parents. Can’t they see how Reggie’s eyes light up when Scorpius comes up in conversation? She always plans to just continue the conversation anyway, regardless of her parent’s discomfort, but Reggie clearly doesn’t like seeing negative reactions to his best friend, so he drops it altogether. Lily has half a mind to tell her parents to get over their childhood rivalry, but Jem always beats her to it, and that starts a whole other argument.)

Her brother is 13 now, and his green eyes are brighter than ever with Scorpius in the vicinity. The blond boy sits straight and has a small smile. He speaks with a lilting accent that Lily can’t quite place, but from what Reggie has told her, she thinks it might be Japanese. On any other day, with any other person, Lily would never recognize these traits in a seemingly random person on their first meeting. But she knows her brother, and she always pays attention to things and people that are important to her loved ones.

Lily has no ambition, and no matter how close she and Reggie are, there was no way she would ever be a Slytherin.

She sits at the Gryffindor table, Jem only a few seats away from her and Rose closer. Reggie comes by later to congratulate her. Unfortunately, Hugo has not joined her but instead joined Hufflepuff. (And where less could he have gone? With how he sticks loyally by Lily’s side despite the consequences, it could only be Hufflepuff.)

Somewhere along the way, Lily and Hugo pick up Ever Nott to turn their duo into a trio.

(It’s a bit of an odd circumstance, but then, Lily  _ is _ an odd girl. It took her over a month to learn the names of her dormmates, but the moment that the Slytherin girl was forcibly assigned as her new Defense partner, Lily claimed her as part of her group.)

Lily is a forgettable girl, except for when she’s not, and as the years go by it is becoming increasingly more clear that the Hogwarts population keeps a close eye on her despite how boring she believes she is. She has such an array of knowledge, so she flies by in classes. Of all of the Potter children, she is the most magically adept. More often than not she performs charms and transfigurations correctly the first or second time. (Her mother taught her how to cast a mean Bat-Bogey Hex as well.) She never appears nervous or stressed; she remains as straight-faced as ever, and it’s this combination of power and nonchalance that piqued her classmates’ attention.

Unlike her brothers, her group doesn’t change much. (Jem’s group will continue to grow in numbers as will Reggie’s. Not to mention the relationships that form within the group.) It will always be Lily, Hugo, and Ever. And they make quite an impression.

By now they’re a bit older; it’s during their third year that people start to take notice, but it’s the fourth year that people personify them.

Visually, they are beautiful, impeccable, untouchable. Lily, with her long, messy black hair that she wears in an even messier ponytail. She’s following the direction of her brother and father, and she’s growing like a sprout. Hugo, with his light ginger curls and amber eyes. He’s taking a page out of his cousin’s book and has perfected his smirk. One would think he would look foolish with the slight gap between his front teeth, but it just adds to his charm. Ever, with her soft brown hair done in elaborate braids. She doesn’t laugh often, but when she does it fills the room. If Lily exudes power, and Hugo exudes charm, then Ever exudes danger.

(She only shows them a few times. It’s their third year, the first time, and they are sitting by the lake. It’s a hot day, so they decide to dip their feet in the water. Ever always wears tights under her skirt or long pants on the weekend. Her left leg, from the mid-thigh down, has been replaced with a wooden prosthetic. Magical prosthetics have come a long way in recent years, so when it’s covered by clothing there is no visual difference; it moves and acts as a leg should. But it is the connecting between the wood and thigh that leave the cousins with their jaws open.

The wood has to be connected somehow, and the roots are grafted into her skin. The remaining flesh is stretched and scarred in between where the roots run in and out of her leg.

Lily and Hugo don’t ask what happened to her and Ever doesn’t tell them.

(It scares Lily. In that moment, her face is full of emotion: fear, surprise, disgust. She’s especially ashamed of that last one. More than anything, however, is the empathy that overtakes her. She feels guilt and pain despite having no part in what happened to her friend, despite not knowing what even occurred.))

The student body whisper names behind their backs. “Merlin,” They say behind their hands, “That Potter girl is like Merlin reborn.”

(Hugo is affectionately dubbed Morgan, and Ever is Mordred. Lily personally thinks that if any of them are Merlin, it should be Ever. After all, she’s the Slytherin. Not to mention that she’s also the nicest. Darkness pours off of her in waves, but she genuinely cares about others, and Lily fully believes her to be a pacifist. Sure, Hugo is a Hufflepuff, and he’s certainly kind, but he also holds a grudge like no other.)

Lily shrugs off the name. It actually takes her months to even realize that people are nicknaming her. As with most things, she doesn’t give it much thought, and she moves on with her life. They call her Merlin, and they expect her to do great things. Maybe they’ll be wonderful or maybe they’ll be terrible; Lily certainly has the power for either option. She’ll have to disappoint them, however, because Lily Luna has no ambition to do anything but soak in the sun while she lays in the sand. 

She is not Jem or Reggie. She never gave her name much thought. Maybe as a child, when Reggie’s stories filled her with hope and determination, she believed herself blessed with the power that Lily Evans had. But that was so long ago that she barely remembers. She is perfectly happy with the name Lily. She feels no distaste or disgust for it. She feels no hero-worship or extreme identification followed by an existential crisis. Lily is simply her name, and she does not think too hard about it. If her classmates want to call her Merlin behind her back, then she won’t think too hard about that either. They’re free to do as they want, and Lily won’t bother wasting her energy about it.

She is Lily Luna Potter, and Lily is a lot of things. She is fifteen now and her fourth year is coming to a close. She follows her own path and her knees are littered with faint scars from her many tumbles. She wears a knee brace on her left leg because one of her many tumbles resulted in a dislocated knee. Her favorite color is pink, and despite dropping every interest she has ever held, she is still determined to catch a dragonfly. At school, she has bigger things to worry about than strange nicknames, like why that weird Slytherin boy keeps staring at her (what’s his name? Tim? Tom? Todd? Yeah, something like that.) or where the better place to catch sun is: the lake or her grandmother’s garden?

She is straight-faced and listless and smart beyond her own self-awareness. She is often blunt and isn’t afraid of throwing a Bat-Bogey Hex. If this intimidates people, then that’s their problem. In all honesty, she probably wouldn’t even notice if it did.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic really should have just been called "I Hate Albus Severus' Name and I'll never Get Over That"


End file.
